What a year 2019 has been. The energy around us has been shifting and has left some people feeling a little flat or unsure, hoping for a better 2020. Some will look back on the past year with sorrow, disappointment, or a feeling of non-achievement. Others will look back and smile, bursting with excitement about what they achieved, the relationships that began and the difference that was made.

No matter what kind of year this was for you, take some time for a calm reflection. Take inventory of all the areas in your life, some of which you’ll be proud of, and others you might want to change. Clear the deck, look back on the year that was and refocus so that you can move into the New Year with a renewed sense of purpose for 2020.

The important thing about self-reflection is to brutally honest with yourself. Most of us are so busy creating the illusion that we have everything together on the outside, when quite frankly, sometimes we don’t. We lie to ourselves and to others, to avoid feeling lonely, bad or feeling like we’ve somehow failed. We make excuses that only make us feel worse and damage our self-esteem.

I’ve just completed my reflection for 2019, and now I’m preparing some goals and plans for the coming new year. I kept my reflection a lot simpler this year - I decided to answer 11 key reflection questions for 2019, and 11 key planning questions for 2020.

Even though I’d love to get rid of the word ‘busy’, it’s fair to say that most people’s lives are just ‘busy’ right now (hopefully with some ‘fun busy’ too!). However, I’d highly recommend you schedule at least 30-60 minutes of quiet time just for YOU, in order to reflect on the year that’s gone, and what you want for the year ahead.

Think about the experiences that have shaped you. Celebrate the wins, learn from your challenges, drop the excuses, and just write. You are YOU. No one is perfect and we shouldn’t aim to be either.

11 reflection questions for the PAST year:

1. What are the moments that were wonderful, made you smile or laugh, and you want to remember?

2. What are the moments that were painful?

3. What are the moments that taught you some powerful lessons?

4. What are your main lessons so that you can move forward and make some changes in the New Year?

5. What are the things that have held you back in the last year? (It could be a bad habit, a negative belief, a friend, excuses or behaviours. Think of this as your “NOT-TO-DO-LIST”; those things and people that make you miserable, lowers your self-esteem, or anything you do out of guilt, FOMO or obligation).

6. What’s working really well in your life right now? (think about your life areas such as health, friendships, love, finances, career etc).

7. What’s not working so well?

8. What goals did you set for 2019? Do you start them, are you in the middle of them, or did you achieve them?

9. Did you do anything (big or small) that moved you outside your comfort zone?

10. What’s the best advice, saying or quote you heard or read this year?

11. What are you most grateful or thankful for?

When you’ve finished your reflection on the year that’s just been, re-read your answers. How do you feel? What do you want to change?

Planning for a New Year ahead can be tough for a lot of people. I often hear “I don’t really know what I want, but I do know that it’s got to be better than this year!” Perhaps with some better planning and regular check-ins during the year, we might get to the end of 2020 and feel a little different, and with a better sense of accomplishment and direction.

When you’re creating direction for the coming year, reflect on what really lights you up, what you enjoy doing, and where you really want to be. Figure out what no longer serves you, question old habits and open yourself to possibility.

11 questions FOR Clarity and direction for the New Year:

1. What changes do you want for yourself in 2020?

2. If you have a dream or some goals, what are they? (think about the goals that excite you AND scare you)

3. What habits you are willing and able to drop in order to move one step closer to your goals and dream? (think about Q5 in the reflection section)

4. What role models can you draw strength from to help you with your goals and dream?

5. How can you give more to yourself in the New Year? (self-care, discovery, learning, time-out etc.)

6. What three things can you do to help yourself be more present in the moment? (think about your 5 senses)

7. What friendships or connections do you want to nurture and grow?

8. What activities, hobbies or interests would you like to make more time for?

9. What’s one affirmation, quote or saying that could help you believe that you can achieve something different than the past year?

10. When things get tough and you’re hard on yourself, what are 5 things that you can do or use to help you through? (e.g. meditate, exercise, journal, call a friend, etc.)

11. Who is your support network? (think about your trusted friends and advisors who you can turn to for advice, a hug, some perspective or some cheering on).

Remember, change in any area just needs a subtle but tangible shift in your thoughts and attitude. It helps to write things down so you don’t feel overloaded, you free your mind a little, and you have some direction.

Enjoy this process. It’s the dawn of a brand new decade. It’s a fresh start so don’t dwell on the past at this time. Think about what you want for yourself and those around you over the next 10 years. Start at chapter one, clarify your goals for 2020 and act on them.

Be open to new challenges and adventures. Be reminded that life is full and beautiful no matter what mess is going on around you. I hope that you do more of what makes you smile and what sparks your soul in 2020.